Tommy Hilfiger reportedly slapped Axl Rose at a club in New York over the weekend. In Hilfiger’s defense, he could easily have confused the faded frontman for Galliano.

As much fun as it is to knock the Lagerfeld (here offering cruise wear for Chanel), Izzy must confess to liking the skillful combination of the same pattern at different scales.

It is Izzy’s sad duty to inform you that models in Milan just went on strike over the awful working conditions in the fashion capital. Their complaints include: 1) the widespread use of non-hypo-allergenic baby oil, 2) being forced for hours on end to look like they just smelled something bad, 3) warm Campari. They are also demanding that the health authorities investigate and put an end to the industry’s analogue to black lung disease: white nostril syndrome.

Fear not, however. The strike lasted a mere three hours (really), so cancel your plane tickets, you beautiful scabs.

Not only does Ben Silver, purveyor of classic menswear in Charleston, South Carolina, claim to have the world’s largest selection of striped ties, but all of them are handmade and of the highest quality.

Izzy is especially fond of these linen examples above, which combine muted colors and exquisite texture.

If you can’t get enough of competitive facial hair, tonight the Knitting Factory is hosting the New York City Beard and Moustache Championships, complete with “celebrity judges” and comedians riffing on the subject.

Jet-setting, possibly gay, and fond of meshugenah patterns is the Etrosexual.

No matter their politics, nearly all Congressmen are ultra-conservatives when it comes to their attire. Izzy therefore wishes to salute Senator Chuck Hagel for wearing a non-dark suit on a recent junket to India.

Plain shirt + plain suit = totally boring. Guys, add a pattern or a tie to create some visual interest.

Ving Rhames proves that pulling off an all-brown outfit isn’t always a mission impossible.

Should Teddy Roosevelt’s ghost call on you to stage a cavalry charge in the tropics, fill your stirrups with these John Lobbs.

Last week in New York, Izzy had the good fortune to attend a dinner party at which the venerable Dr. Ruth Westheimer was the guest of honor.  As he introduced himself to her, she scanned his clothing from head to toe, and then exclaimed in her inimitable German accent, “How elegant!” Izzy, he almost plotzed from joy.

Izzy knows what you’re thinking: That wasn’t tobacco in his meerschaum pipe.