Men’s health – the lower back

The topic of today is the upkeep of the male body, more specifically, an aching back.

First, let us dispense with problems in the extremities. Apart from pattern baldness, failing eyesight, tinnitus, tooth decay, receding gums, moles, wens, basal cell carcinomas and diminished cognitive function, the head really doesn’t suffer much from age. Be sure to wear a sunhat.

Men rarely have issues concerning hands and arms. Find some upper body workout you don’t mind doing, and do it with regularity. Watch out for free weights. They are waiting to ruin your joints.

Because feet, knees, and hips suffer normal wear and tear, they require special attention. Some men are lucky and don’t get sore feet. If like mine yours are always aching, take a class from a dance instructor and learn how dancers warm up. Do this warm-up every morning in the shower and your feet will function properly.

There are only three sure-fire cures for backache. One is whiskey. Another is downhill skiing. The third and finest of all is found behind closed doors with an enthusiastic partner. Unless your partner suffers from nymphomania, in which case I don’t want to hear from you, you’ve got to find a daily substitute.

The pelvic thrust – what ladies refer to as the pelvic “tilt” – is the single best exercise for the back and stomach. This, too, you can do in the shower.

As you bend into a half squat, reach your hands forward as if grasping something, then while pulling the arms and shoulders back thrust the pelvis forward slowly and strongly as far as you can push, holding it in position for a moment before repeating.

Because I find it helps to visualize, here are a few pictures to help your focus.

4 Responses to “Men’s health – the lower back”

  1. GoingDown June 18, 2010 at 3:08 pm #

    Skydiving works well for me to workout the lower back. A proper arch trains those muscles.

  2. Mr. Henry June 19, 2010 at 8:31 am #

    Obviously.

  3. ChaChaheels June 23, 2010 at 9:20 am #

    No wonder they say lower back pain results from severe frustration. It all makes sense now.

  4. Glinda June 24, 2010 at 2:18 am #

    Oh Mr. Henry, you are so saucy!