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Robert Owens Tailored Skirt (FOR MEN) – The Review.

Now, I am as fashion-forward as the next man (actually I am not, but let us engage in willing suspension of disbelief here) but when I look at the Rick Owens tailored skirt for Men (On incredible sale-marked down from $1457.79 to 499.00 on Gilt) I am struck by the exclamation, “Wuck?”  I challenge you to look at this picture and not say “Wuck?!?”.

Seriously?  Radical Islam has gone too far, now.

Seriously? Radical Islam has gone too far, now.

 

This begs a lot of analysis. First, who thought up $1457.79? $1458 is just too high for a skirt? Second, why would a man need a skirt? Especially a maxi. I can tell you from my travels in San Francisco that men’s hem lines are moving up, not down. And it doesn’t even have a decent slit. This is a serious problem as you are going to have to do some fast running to get away from the people with decent taste that are going to try and pummel you to stop the rot. Did he get the idea from watching kids do sack races?

My best guess is that this is some kind of publicity stunt. I bet they don’t even have any stock to sell. Probably all photoshopped. I dare one of the Manolo’s readers to try and buy one. I bet they tell you it is out of stock. Here is the Gilt link to the skirt.

Postscript: Not knowing much about Rick Owen’s and his work, I googled up some stuff. After looking over the pictures of his “creations” I am now convinced that he is a clever hoax who doesn’t even exist. Clearly his creations are the work of some kind of fashion prankster. Kudo’s to you, interweb humorist!

Alas, Poor Yorick

Jeffery West death's head cufflinks

Today’s New York Times contains an disappointing article about the current widespread use of skulls in fashion. Although the paper is right to note the trend, one Izzy touched upon a while back, it fails to give any recent history of the death’s head as decoration, including its use on Nazi S.S. uniforms or its place in the iconography of heavy metal, something the British shoemaker Jeffery West tries to market. The article claims that the skull has largely lost its edge as a symbol, but Izzy thinks its connotations depend upon the sex of the wearer. It’s one thing for a woman to borrow style cues from pirates or Hell’s Angels; she is clearly playing dress-up. But when a man does the same, he is liable to come across as threatening or uncivil, far from a good thing in Izzy’s estimation. As for me, I’ll stick with more traditional cufflinks from Alfred Dunhill.)

Mojo Rising

austin-powers-mojo-boots

Hard economic times appear to have affected even Austin Powers, who must be the British eBay seller hoping to exchange these groovy, Cuban-heeled Chelsea boots for cash. If any of Izzy’s loyal readers are friends with the Riddler, please tell him to bid now.

Eexamsheets – http://www.examsheets.com/exam/CISSP.htm
Realtests – http://www.realtests.com/exam/646-206.htm
Test-inside – http://www.test-inside.com/70-462.htm
Passguide – http://www.passguide.com/640-554.html

You Can’t Spell America Without “C”

TV Colbert Colmes

By wearing a lapel pin that combines the U.S. flag and the letter “C,” Steven Colbert shrewdly blends mock patriotism with self-advertising. Yet, by donning a button-down collar with a tuxedo, he really goes beyond the bounds of taste.

Men and Their Hose

Izzy was blissfully unaware of the trend of men wearing pantyhose, until a reader sent him this article:

The trend for straight men to invade female fashion territory is seemingly unstoppable. Even before manscara and guyliner there were man bras, or manzieres. Now there are umpteen websites for male nylons. One, e-MANcipate!, describes itself as “a project to accelerate the acceptance of male pantyhose as a regular clothing item” with tips on how to deal with snagging (a dab of clear nail varnish, I find, fellas, and do watch those shoe buckles).

Surely you don’t need Izzy to tell you that “mantyhose,” even with a special “male comfort panel,” is stretching things too far. They only time a gentleman should ever be caught with hose on is when he has pulled a pair over his head to rob a grocery store for diapers.

Unsweet Rose

In honor of the belated release of Guns N’ Roses’ latest album, it’s worth remembering why no one regretted Axl Rose’s disappearance from the collective consciousness. Most men, even the most aesthetically clueless, know that the world does not want to see a vast swath of denuded pinkness.  And is it Izzy’s imagination or is that cross trying to get as far as it can from Axl’s chest?

Zorro He Ain’t

Cafe Tacuba

Rubén Albarrán, lead singer of the popular Mexican rock band Café Tacuba, nearly always wears a white fedora/mask to feign anonymity, perhaps even that of a luchadore.  (This is even more obvious when he wears his bizarre coxcomb cap.)  But Izzy can’t help but thinking of Dumb Donald, the lunkheaded character from the TV show Fat Albert who literally pulled he wool over his eyes in his permanent pink stocking hat.

Dumb Donald

Madras Makes Your Eyes Bleed

madras nightmare

A little while back, the folks at Kempt analyzed the ultra-preppy style of Southampton, New York.  No doubt schooled at a radical madras-a, these men are in effect saying, “I’m so rich I can buy a hideous jacket I wear once a year as a joke.”  But even worse is the implied incivility: by wearing such obnoxious jackets, paired with clashing bow ties no less, the men are showing little concern for the eyeballs of anyone else.

Sandalous

Alexander McQueen shoes

In case you’re the kind of professor or grad student who likes to wear socks with sandals, Alexander McQueen has just the pair of “dress” shoes for you.  Just hope it doesn’t rain.

Pressing the Flesh

Armani human branding

Having once before warned of the dangers of human branding, Izzy was dismayed to see Armani tag this model with his vaguely Fascist eagle logo.

Tape Me

Alexander McQueen tape shirt

It’s “shirts” like this that explain why male models have no chest hair.  And maybe Izzy should have put “male” in quotation marks, too.

Sheep-Dip

Jil Sander tricolor

This ghastly tricolor ensemble by Jil Sander reminds Izzy of a classic anecdote about Groucho Marx.  Upon being informed that he would not be allowed to go in a country club’s swimming pool since it did not admit Jews, he replied, “Well, my son is half Jewish.  Can he go in up to his waist?”

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