Having bemoaned the plague of less-than-masculine male models, Izzy is not quite willing to praise this rare example of the opposite extreme: a hairy, meaty chav with teeth that only an orthodontist could love—all courtesy of punk fashionist Vivienne Westwood. Izzy hasn’t seen this much bling since Hans Holbein the Younger.
If you’re the world’s tallest man and lack the world’s largest wallet, no one expects your suits to fit well. But why, of all people, should your sleeves be too long?! And don’t say you’ll grow into it.
Courtesy of Thom Browne comes this freakish nightmare—of ironing, that is.
A Milwaukee-area judge has gotten hot under the collar due to a prosecutor’s wearing an ascot in lieu of a court-mandated necktie. While the judge might be extreme in threatening the lawyer with contempt, his Honor is correct that an ascot must be seen as an informal piece of clothing. While donning one in court might not amount to a full-blown violation of the canons of legal ethics, the real question is why the prosecutor would want to accentuate the girth of his already hefty neck. His goatee was a smart choice, however.
Never a fan of false humility, Izzy is proud to report that he was recently quoted in a Denver Post article about Nordstrom, the department store famed for its customer service. Alas, although Izzy gave good quote, the reporter chose to go with the relatively humdrum. Still, the article is worth reading. Izzy would add to it that Nordstrom has one of the best men’s shoe departments in the business, with a wide variety of high quality brands, and the store also carries an extensive selection of clothing sizes, which makes it a good choice for the big, small, or unusually-sized gentleman. It’s reputation for superior service is well-deserved, but while many people know of its generous return-policy (e.g., purchases can be returned without receipts as long as Nordstrom carries the items), its low-price guarantee also deserves a huzzah.
Far from being a traditional Scottish kilt, the Utilikilt is a proud representative of the “men’s unbifurcated garment” a/k/a the manskirt. Offered in eight styles, in materials including cotton, leather, duck cloth, and lightweight nylon, it aims to be a manly, well-ventilated alternative to the tyranny of trousers. It’s also great for anyone looking to pick a fight. Obviously only for the brave, the garment is best attempted by big, burly men.
It may pale in political importance next to the tapes of President Nixon’s phone calls, but this surreal 1964 recording of LBJ ordering custom trousers from Joe Haggar still deserves a place in the history books. Be warned: the salty Texan’s choice of words—and colors—is of questionable taste.
Izzy feels remiss for having offended some of his loyal readers regarding Gianfranco Ferre. The post was intended to make fun of the designer’s fondness for white suits—not his size and certainly not his passing. (As someone who has actually read Moby-Dick (twice!), Izzy feels confident that while being compared to a whale can be unflattering, the allusion to the Great White Metaphor has many positive connotations.)
As a matter of fact, Izzy admired Ferre for being someone in the weight-obsessed fashion world who demonstrated a (stereotypically Italian?) willingness to take pleasure in food. Come to think of it: Could the widespread abuse of intoxicants in that industry be an attempt to compensate for self-denial?
In any case, Izzy apologizes for teetering over the “Cartesian vortices” below.
Gianfranco Ferre, the Italian “Architect of Fashion,” has died. Captain Ahab must have finally caught up with him.
Jorge Garcia, one of the stars of the TV show Lost, clearly has a lot of food experience under his belt. But by wearing a well-fitting tuxedo—and keeping it buttoned—he looks like he’s been forced to forage on a desert island.
In case you needed an easy way to remember why big boys should avoid big patterns.
Ay caramba! If he’s not careful, Simpsons‘ creator Matt Groening might publicly strangle himself.
